Attachment
by Clio S.S
Summary: Three chapters. Set after Kyuubi's attack 16 years ago and dealing with little Naruto. Please, enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**1\. Hiruzen**

* * *

Suddenly, Hiruzen Sarutobi felt very old. Now, for the first time in his life, he acknowledged his age, each year weighing him down. Now, it was hard to regard the future with hope, as he used to, for everything seemed so meaningless.

Evil had broken free, bringing along destruction with but a swing of its tail.

Regardless of an optimism marking his thoughts and deeds, Hiruzen was a realist. He knew perfectly well that there was evil, too, in the world. Darkness, hatred... He would encounter them everywhere. He had lived through three wars and seen the suffering people had inflicted on each other; he'd seen so much it would be enough for a whole nation... 'Enough' - but only assuming that suffering was something required, and he was of an opposite opinion. He believed that a person was born to be happy, and even though one couldn't completely remove evil from one's life, one could still defeat it. Hiruzen believed that good always prevailed, and he tried to make everyone else believe it, too. Now, however, on the ruins of Konoha, it seemed to him that evil won.

For an average person, everything had happened in a blink of eye. The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox had appeared out of nowhere and without reason. The calamity had fallen upon Konoha like a bolt from the blue. In less than one hour, half of the shinobi had been killed when trying to protect their children and companions. And then there had been a great light when Fourth Hokage had teleported along with the Demon far from the city to remove the threat.

Hiruzen blinked and slowly got up. He took a deep breath, trying not to choke on the dust still suspended in the air, and had a look around. It was here that the final battle had taken place. He could only watch it from behind the barrier, unable to do anything - how dreadful, how cruel. Just watching was much worse, and he distractedly wondered whether he should despise himself for that feeling of relief that, in the end, he couldn't see all the details, obscured by the field of barrier, distance, bits of earth thrown up, and powerful chakra discharges... Now the fighting was over; the barrier had disappeared, and the dust settled, revealing the battlefield. He squinted as his eyes caught two silhouettes.

Minato and Kushina.

Embraced, like a husband and wife. Smiling. And, beyond doubt, dead.

His heart clenched with pain, so strong he hunched and shrank. He couldn't believe Only in the morning, just a few hours ago... They would live their life, as normal as it was possible in the case of a Hokage and a Jinchūriki. They would be safe and sound, they would laugh, finally truly happy, on a threshold of a new life, even better, even more joyous. What had happened was so unfair... and for a moment he wanted to flee from that view, unable to consent for such cruelty.

And then he opened his eyes again, aware that he had to remember every detail of that scene, no matter how dreadful it was. Its beauty was beyond any comprehension.

They had died with smile. Covered with blood, bruised, stripped of any human dignity, they had died smiling to... _their child_. Hiruzen stirred, involuntarily taking one step forward. He didn't know what had happened, yet; something was pushing him away from that knowledge, and he himself was still fighting the urge to turn back and run away... He clenched his fists and ordered himself to remain calm. He took one more deep breath.

He realized he couldn't run away. Once again, he was the Hokage, only temporary but he was nonetheless, now, right _now_. Once again, he was the leader of Konoha, with more responsibility on his shoulder than anyone else's. He came closer though his legs seemed lead. His eyes taking in more and more details, he finally stopped over the three of them. He turned his gaze from smiling faces of Minato and Kushina and looked at the newborn child, out of the reach of the mother.

A boy. The Eight Trigrams Sealing Style on his belly. (Hiruzen gasped). A lock of fair hair on his head, eyelids shut tightly, he was sleeping on the ground of already finished battle... just like its _conclusion?_

Something quivered inside Hiruzen, the first spark lighting up and warming his frozen heart. He regarded the wrinkled face, failing to see any resemblance to the parents. Yet, he was strangely sure that the boy had round eyes of his mother.

He breathed deeply, and this time it wasn't a sigh. His mind was starting to operate again. His straightened up and set his lips tight, looking around. Everything was over. The Demon had appeared and then vanished, sealed once more. The dead would be buried, but it was the living ones to be tended to in the first place. Konoha had suffered a painful blow, but as long as there was a single soul calling it their home, everything could be started anew. The houses would be rebuilt, and the broken trees would be replaced.

The clouds crept over the sky, obscuring the moon. The rain didn't keep them waiting. One could say the nature mourned the dead, but Hiruzen no longer bothered his head with poetry. The first drops fell on the skin of the baby, who waved his hands and started crying, clasping his eyes even tighter. Hiruzen bent down and took the boy in his arms, trying to protect him from the water. For the time of year, it was pretty warm, but it was already autumn nonetheless. The baby had to be taken in a better place.

He turned again to look at Minato and Kushina. The rain was washing off the blood and tears from their faces, leaving the smiles intact. He blinked, trying to remove the water from his eyes, and then he left, defending the flame in his heart and fuelling it so it would never die again.

* * *

The first, hastily made plan assumed that Biwako would take care of the boy - it was only his own wife that Hiruzen could entrust with the child of the Hokage who had suddenly become a Jinchūriki and contained the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon - but the next blow reached him as soon as he got home. The ANBU were awaiting him, along with the laconic report that Biwako's corpse had been found in the place where Kushina was supposed to have given birth. The midwife, Taji, was dead, too, as was the whole ANBU squad ordered to protect the area. It was easiest to conclude that they had fallen the very first victims of the Nine-Tails, but there was something to it that Hiruzen didn't like. Lacking any proof, he was forced to postpone speculating until the autopsy's results arrived, especially that there were more important things to take care of at the moment. He was under the impression he couldn't really grasp the situation, yet he had to pull himself together and act. New life had its rights and didn't care about the circumstances in which it had been brought into the world. Hiruzen tried to derive some comfort from the child himself - just as he had done at the beginning - but he couldn't fight off the feeling of depression. He couldn't imagine the future of the boy, but he vaguely guessed it wouldn't be easy.

* * *

As a temporary solution, he hired a baby-sitter to feed and change the boy. The newborn used to sleep most of the time, but when he didn't, everyone near was aware of his existence. Hiruzen thought he was probably too old for little babies in his house, and realizing this didn't fill him with joy. He had to focus on his Hokage duties, and thus he rarely stopped at home, but whenever he forced himself to come and have a look at the boy, he quickly left. Once he understood it to be a mistake on his part, it was already too late.

Before that, however, he had a conversation with Koharu and Homura that, as he might expect, was nothing pleasant nor - even worse - productive. After the initial question, 'What are you going to do with the Jinchūriki?", the two went on to the general complaints and holding everyone else responsible for appearance of the Nine-Tails. Hiruzen was the first to get an earful, ('How exactly did you ensure the safety of Konoha? _One_ ANBU squad?'), then was Kushina ('That worthless girl let the seal to be weakened!'), and finally Minato, ('Did he really have to be so foolish to make a _Jinchūriki_ pregnant?!') Hiruzen recollected the bloodied and smiling faces of Minato and Kushina, and tried to control himself, but he lost his cool at that last remark. He reminded the two that Minato had saved Konoha and deserved to be respected as a hero, then threw them out of the door. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so furious.

It didn't solve the problem of the boy that soon escalated, and he could blame only himself for that. Hiruzen was too late to order the baby-sitter to keep silent about the whole business, and the ANBU agents, too, appeared to be only human with their typical weaknesses. Not even a week passed that the Hokage was given to understand the people of Konoha were anxious and demanded whether it was true that he was keeping the sealed Nine-Tails in his place. Hiruzen suspected Koharu and Homura might have something to do with that. In the meantime, it was proved beyond doubt that Biwako, Taji and ANBU hadn't been slain by the Demon, at least not by _that_ one. Hiruzen couldn't put all pieces together - or he didn't want, for the picture coming into view was as absurd as fearsome. However, he knew there was no-one he could share his assumption with, and the thought he had to conceal something from Konoha's people weighed on him heavily.

Koharu and Homura kept ignoring him ostentatiously - they probably hadn't forgiven him the last time - so he couldn't count on any support from them. Biwako was no longer there. Jiraiya stayed abroad. Quite unexpectedly, he was offered some help by Danzō, who expressed his wish to take care of the boy and give him a seat in the Rook, but Hiruzen at once realized the reason behind the offer: Danzō simply wanted to control the Jinchūriki, and nothing else mattered to him. For his part, Hiruzen wouldn't let _any_ child go to the Root, not to mention Minato's and Kushina's offspring. Thus, Danzō left displeased - that was, even more than normally - and Hiruzen once more realized the sad thing that one could be alone in the crowd.

When one day Konoha's citizens gathered in front of the Hokage's palace, in the mood of unrest, Hiruzen understood he could no longer escape the responsibility. He didn't like to rule people, he didn't like to show his power over them, but this time he had to summon all his strength as a leader and issue an _order_, in hope it would be obeyed. From the roof of the building, he announced that, indeed, the Fourth Hokage had sealed the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox in a newborn child and thus protected the village from the destruction, and that from then on everyone without exception was forbidden to _talk_ about it. Whether the people were more shaken by the truth about the Demon, so far only presumed, or the Hokage's unprecedented decree, he didn't know, but their shock was obvious. Looking in their eyes, he realized no-one intended to treat the boy like a hero or a sacrifice; they would see him only as a monster.

* * *

Jiraiya appeared the following day. The sudden and unexpected death of his pupil and friend, as well as his wife, depressed him evidently, but he tried to conceal his sorrow behind coarse joviality - and Hiruzen allowed him to do so, feeling comforted by his very presence. They spend many hours - despite his busy schedule, Hiruzen didn't regret any minute of it - talking about all possible matters, trivial and important. With Jiraiya, it was so easy to become absorbed in conversation, and realizing it was, in a way, painful, too. There was no-one else, with whom he could discuss that way: openly, in trust, with mutual respect and pleasure. It was still so hard to accept that Biwako and Minato were no longer there, even though those two losses were so different.

Finally, they reached the topic of the unusual guest still staying in the Hokage's house.

"Then, what are you going to do with Naruto?"

Hiruzen started and gave his friend an attentive look. "Naruto?"

Jiraiya seemed to be trying to hide his contentment, which, given the situation, was grotesque - but so needed, too...! "I suppose they didn't manage to tell you, what a pity indeed... Or maybe they didn't want?" he kept asking theatrically.

"What about that... _Naruto?_ " Hiruzen stuck to the subject.

"It's his name," Jiraiya replied. "The boy's," he emphasized though it was unnecessary.

"Naruto?"

"That's what I'm saying," his old student faked an offence. "_I_ named him," he added, as if reluctantly, but Hiruzen could read him as an open book.

"Naruto..." he repeated once more.

"You've already practised," Jiraiya said under his breath. "Naruto Namikaze. Sounds like a hero, don't you think? But, wait... It seems you want to keep his family background a secret, hmm?" Hiruzen, deep in thoughts, nodded. "Then... Naruto Uzumaki. Sounds... less like a hero," Jiraiya decided. "More... like a rascal," he added with a spark in his eye. Then, however, he lowered his head and remained silent for a while. "I can't believe they are gone," he uttered in a strangled voice. "What is the world that we live in, Sensei?"

"Evil had been defeated once more," Hiruzen replied somewhat automatically. He had to believe it, and the more he said it aloud, the easier it became.

Yet, Jiraiya didn't feel like quitting the topic. "How did it happen? I still can't understand..."

Hiruzen put his both hands on the table. If there was anyone he could confine in and reveal his wild suspicions to, it was only Jiraiya, so he didn't hesitate longer. Actually, he realized it now, he'd been only waiting for that moment. "Someone was there," he said in a low voice. "Someone killed the whole ANBU squad, the midwife and my wife. Someone... controlled the Nine-Tails."

"Controlled?" Jiraiya couldn't hide his astonishment. "You know it's impossible. Only two men could do it. The First is out of the question, so you have to think of..." He paused with an intent look.

Hiruzen nodded. "But it's nothing more than a suspicion." He rubbed one hand against his forehead. "I have no proof, and such speculations sound like a lunacy. Still, I thought you should know. Keep your eyes open... I may be mistaken, but..."

"But your speculations are rarely wrong," Jiraiya supplied. "I'll remember about it when gathering information."

He started to get up. Hiruzen was filled with a feeling of a sudden objection; he wanted to keep him for longer. "Won't you see him? You've named him, after all," he called hurriedly.

For a moment, the big man sat in silence, but then he nodded. With irrational fear that Jiraiya would change his mind, Hiruzen quickly guided him to the room prepared for the child. After the revelations of the previous day, the baby-sitter hadn't appeared again, and Hokage had had to request one of the female ANBU to take her place. When they entered, the girl looked at them with some distraction in her eyes; it could be that she had no experience in nursing babies altogether. He should have thought about it, Hiruzen reproached himself for yet another unconsidered decision. The boy, however, was sleeping soundly, and it seemed he had been fed. The young woman slipped out of the room when they stopped by the cradle; apparently, she didn't want to stay in the boy's presence more than absolutely necessary. Hiruzen was no longer sure whether that thought made him sad or, rather, angry.

He ordered himself calm; he had better focus on the situation at hand. He fixed his eyes on the trouble sleeping in the bed, still unsolved. "You know, I'm sure Minato would like you to..." he started with hesitation as the new idea occurred to him.

Jiraiya tore his gaze off the boy's face and gave him a surprised look. "Me? Sensei, do I look like a proper candidate for a father?" he asked. "Well, it's true, I am respected, I have an occupation and means..." he enumerated and then winked.

"Maybe I should ask Tsunade..." Hiruzen wondered quite seriously.

Jiraiya burst out laughing. "Now that was a good one! Tsunade is fitted for a mother even less. Between you and me, Sensei," he leaned down in a confidential way, "I wouldn't entrust her with a child of my worst enemy." He straightened and looked in a distance over the Hokage's shoulder. "Though... she and I... and little Naruto..." The thought didn't seem to displease him.

Hiruzen shook his head, not in disapproval. Apparently, Jiraiya's feelings for Tsunade were still more than those of a friend, even if unrequited... That fact, or rather its permanence, was comforting.

A sudden move drew their attention; the boy was waving his hands, he must have just waked up. They turned to the cradle again. Jiraiya stared at the child's face; there was no joy to his gaze, only concern and sorrow.

"He has his mother's eyes," he said in a soft voice. And then he smiled, stretching his big hand to the baby. The boy gripped his finger, trying to focus his gaze but to no avail. Jiraiya leaned over the bed. "I can't take you know," he explained, looking at the boy with warmth. "But one day," he went on inspired and frowned, "I'm going to make you my student. You have to wait just a little longer. And grow a bit."

Hiruzen kept silent. Although it didn't solve the most urgent problem, he felt somewhat relieved at the thought that the boy - _Naruto_, he corrected - would have a guardian, more or less. Jiraiya, obviously reading his mind, turned to look at him again.

"My account is at his disposal. I'll draw up the documents, Sensei. It's better not to touch Minato's and Kushina's founds for now. Well, you're going to do what you'll consider fitting," he added, straightening his back. Naruto was still grasping his finger.

Hiruzen nodded. "He will lack no food nor clothes. What worries me is rather..." He paused.

Jiraiya's eyes were serious again. For a moment, they stared at each other without a word. Finally, Jiraiya smiled. "A man needs a woman. A woman needs a man. Both need love."

"I know that."

Jiraiya tossed his head back; his long hair waved in the air. "Then I'm sure you'll find someone to take care of him. Naruto Uzumaki, not the Nine-Tailed Fox." He mused. "Though, I sometimes think that someone should take care of him, too..."

"You're talking gibberish, my boy," Hiruzen decided.

"You're probably right," Jiraiya agreed. "I think I need a drink. It's a good occasion to have a look at the women of Konoha and make sure that they are still as beautiful as they were."

He started to unwind Naruto's tiny hand from his finger - with more delicacy one could suspect of someone of his size. The boy, obviously upset, gave a cry of a protest and waved his fists, grasping a handful of Jiraiya's mane. The man hissed and then burst out laughing.

"That's the spirit, little one! I can already see you have more of your mother than just the eyes."

Naruto blinked for a while and then, suddenly, began to cry. Hiruzen sighed; he had the impression a short while of calm had ended. Jiraiya picked the boy up to lull him, though there was more of uncertainty to his gesture, but then the temporary baby-sitter slipped into the room.

"I'll take care of him," she said in a quiet voice, taking the child.

"See you again, Naruto!" Jiraiya called, making sure his precious hair was out of the boy's reach.

Hiruzen made his way towards the exit, and Jiraiya followed, turning to look back every now and then. The boy's weak cry ceased to be heard after just a few steps in the corridor, and it seemed both of them welcomed it with relief neither wanted to admit.

"And when he'll grow a bit, I'm going to teach him the Rasengan," Jiraiya announced.

Hiruzen looked askance at him. "You know, you're terribly enthusiastic for a person who's just shifted responsibility on someone else," he said mockingly.

Jiraiya cast a close look at him. "It's still not time for me to take roots, Sensei," he responded. "I'm even not sure it will ever happen. There's so many beautiful women in the world that I couldn't settle down with just one... Though, I probably wouldn't say no to Tsunade..." he went on in the voice that was so familiar to his friends. "I _promise_ you to take care of him once he graduates from the Academy."

"You've already provided him with livelihood, planned his education and career..." Hiruzen noticed, stifling his laughter. "Won't you choose him a wife, too...?"

Jiraiya resolutely shook his head. "No... In love, one has to listen only to himself," he said in a soft voice, and that was the last thing Hiruzen heard from him that day.

They emerged into the sunlit yard, parting without words, as if they were to see each other as soon as tomorrow, though they both knew well that it could be months, even years, before they met again. Hiruzen stayed in the doorway; Jiraiya made his way to the gate, raising one hand to wave goodbye. When he disappeared, Hokage clasped his hands behind his back and stared at the blue sky. A few yellow leaves flew over his head carried by the wind.

For the first time in many days, he felt refreshed. Maybe he wasn't that old, after all, if the youngsters could influence his mood like this...? He'd needed Jiraiya's visit more than he'd thought so. Somehow his student, in just a few hours, managed to breathe some optimism in him and make the situation easier. He didn't hesitate, he only looked forward and focused on the positives. Someone who didn't know him could regard him as a merry fool who had no idea of the real life. For Hiruzen, Jiraiya was someone who had suffered a lot yet overcome his ordeal and was still able to look at the world with joy. No-one else could prove a better example now. Deep inside, Hiruzen thanked unspecified gods for the student he could still learn from. The problems hadn't disappeared, but he was able to believe everything would be all right.

Now, however, he had only one problem to ponder upon.

* * *

Hiruzen dwelt on Jiraiya's words about love. Not that they sounded unfamiliar to him, quite the contrary. He was perfectly aware that Naruto - as a Jinchūriki - would need a special care. What was it that Mito had once said? 'We must fill the vessel with love.' He trusted Minato's abilities completely and was sure that the seal would hold for years, but it was also true that Naruto was like a time bomb. It was essential that he grew up to be a level-headed person, otherwise the disaster was inevitable. It was essential to tame the Fox inside him, absurd or impossible as it sounded. It was essential to support him as Naruto Uzumaki, not the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, and help him discover and train his own powers that must have been considerable. How he wished Minato and Kushina could bring him up to become the pride of Konoha one day... But giving in to the sorrow changed nothing; he had to focus on acting.

There was still another thing, and he would take account of it, too, if it was any other child in question. During the years of his retirement, that he'd been forced to come back so unexpectedly from, he had the opportunity to observe people. He'd met with old and young, with sick and healthy. He'd talked with those on the threshold of their happy life and with those weighed down by worries of life. Above all, he'd taken liking to watch children, who seemed the greatest power existing. Children were the real miracle, with their never-ending energy and cheerfulness, with their emotions and feelings unbound by any social norms, with their curiosity of the world and unlimited faith in tomorrow. Happiness of a child was so simple one could easily get infected with it, and it required so little to create it: family and home were enough, along with the basic sense of security stemming from them.

Nevertheless - because the world was imperfect, and life could be cruel - Hiruzen had seen orphaned children as well. Most of them would be taken in by their relatives, but there were also some who had no-one left. Those children that no-one wanted, ended in the orphanage. And even though they didn't lack food, clothes or toys, and the nurses would apply themselves to taking care of their needs, those children, especially those bereaved at the earliest, were never happy. Their smiles were pale, their eyes were sad, and their faces were lifeless. They didn't cry, they were quiet, sitting alone and focusing on their toys - and never troubled anyone. They were like flowers on the barren soil: frail, wispy, colourless. They were strong enough to exist, even in a place that the sunlight didn't reach, but nothing else. They didn't see the world, staring only at the ground under their feet. Taking one step seemed the limit of what they were capable of.

Hiruzen didn't wish to see Naruto becoming like them, never in his life. The Nine-Tails would tear him to pieces regardless of the most powerful protecting spells and seals, even before the boy realized his existence. He couldn't let it happen, and the safety of Konoha was of a secondary importance; what mattered was the debt to Minato and Kushina.

That was why it took the Hokage a whole month to carefully thought about whom he could entrust the boy with. He kept picking and choosing, accepting and dismissing, even could be called demanding. Well, he wanted the best for Naruto... However, when he was confronted with reality, he received a shock that brought his plans to naught. He'd already known that Naruto wouldn't have an easy life, but he hadn't expected such a deep and unanimous _rejection_ that Konoha's people showed. They'd respected his authority as the Hokage when he'd issued the decree, but they had no intention to take care of the child they didn't have to. 'I can't, Hokage-sama.' 'You can't ask me that.' 'You must understand us.' Hiruzen understood though he wasn't forced to. What he was forced to do was to, once again, swallow down the bitter realization that the people he protected were so much imperfect. He couldn't even call them ungrateful; after all, he had withhold the identity of the boy from them. Now he doubted that revealing it would change anything; for them, Naruto was the Nine-Tailed Demon, even if he was the Fourth Hokage's son. He was an incarnation of the Fox that had killed their beloved.

It was probably those two thoughts combined that reminded him of that woman.


	2. Chapter 2

**2\. Kazue**

* * *

Her name was Kazue Tsuda. Long ago, she had brought up three sons, and later she had buried all of them at the same time. Earlier, she had seen them dying at her hands, unable to save any of them. After that, she had left the medical tent and never came back. Some said she could no longer fulfil her medical duties; others suspected she'd lost her skills. Soon everyone had forgotten about her.

That time, he husband had already rested in the Konoha cemetery, so she had been left all alone. Occasionally, she would be seen at the market, trying to sell vegetables from her garden or, later, only buying rice. She would rarely spoke to anybody, maybe exchange a few words with the carpenter, asked to mend something in her house. The last time Hiruzen had seen her, she'd looked like an elderly person, not a woman in her late forties.

In Konohagakure, there were many women whose husbands and children had been taken away by the war. No-one could really do anything about it; they just had to live on. Some bereaved used to cure their sorrow by engaging in social activities, doubling their efforts for those who still fought and protected the village or, in time of peace, simply fulfilled their duties of shinobi. Others sought comfort from their relatives and neighbours, strengthening the existing bonds and creating new. Some simply withdrew from life, and that was what Kazue Tsuda had done, narrowing the world to her small piece of land. Only foxes would sometimes go out of the forest to eat the waste she threw them. Children called her Kitsune-Onna, although they didn't dare to come close to her household.

Hiruzen knew that many chose solitude but few could bear it.

* * *

As soon as the thought of Kazue appeared in his mind, Hiruzen felt strangely calm, although he couldn't really explain that feeling. It was as if he'd suddenly understood what to do; as if he'd found a right person and no longer needed to deliberate. He felt _certain_ \- both that his choice was good and that Kazue would not reject Naruto the way others did. When he called the image of her to mind, he saw a person who didn't care about the proprieties and was strong enough to tell the important things from trivial, and stick to her decisions, regardless of what the other people might say. He was entirely sure that for Kazue Naruto would be just a child who needed nurture, not some Nine-Tailed Demon Fox.

The very next day, he took Naruto and made for the house on the border of the forest. He paid no attention to the indirect glances people gave him as he walked; they would avert their eyes as soon as he attempted to catch them looking. He just had to believe the gulf that had opened between him and the rest because of the Nine-Tails would close one day. At first, he had to do anything to take Naruto out of it, and for that reason he was currently heading towards the place that, he hoped, would become the boy's home.

However, when he approached the wooden gate and had a look at the surroundings, that hope started to fade. The yard was rather untended. The gardening tools were put against the wall, some laying in the overgrown grass. The nettles were peeping out from behind the well in a robust cluster. The cherry tree was leaning over the fence that lacked several pales. The foxes were nowhere to be seen; only a cat was busying itself with the morning toilet, sitting by the door. The place seemed completely deserted.

For a moment, Hiruzen had the terrible thought that Kazue Tsuda had died and he didn't even know about it. Maybe no-one did. He felt another pang of guilt (and distractedly noticed that during last weeks he constantly had been feeling guilty of something); as Hokage, he should be aware of the situation of people he led... Only later he was struck by the realization that he was back at square one as to Naruto's problem. He was standing by the gate, helpless. What was he supposed to do now...?

Then, however, the door of the house was noiselessly slid aside, quieting his doubts and remorse, and reviving hope. The cat jumped inside as his mistress appeared on the doorstep, undoubtedly alive. Hiruzen didn't manage to savour the feeling of relief, for he was immediately crushed by the realization the woman seemed even older. She did stand in the shadow, which couldn't enhance her looks, but Hiruzen was under the impression that should she step into the full sunlight, the view would be even more miserable.

She didn't move, just kept standing there, with one hand on the door, and staring at him. The cat began to brush against her legs, but she seemed to be unaware of it. Hiruzen had a thought she didn't recognize him; she must have stayed alone for a longer while, without contact with other people.

He pushed the gate and entered the yard. "Good morning, Kazue-san," he welcomed her, striving to speak in a casual voice. "It's been a long time. It's me, Hiruzen Sarutobi."

The woman nodded though seemed to see him as a stranger; her gaze was both probing and indifferent.

"I came to ask you a favour, Kazue-san," he said, coming closer. "May we sit down?"

After a moment of silence, the woman nodded and simply sat down on the wooden veranda, leaving the door open. Hiruzen took a place next to her, unconsciously noting that there was no dust on the flooring. Naruto didn't stir; he was sleeping soundly in his arms, wrapped in the cloth.

He shifted his gaze from the boy's face on the woman. It seemed Kazue wanted to say something; her lips moved, yet no sound left them, she only nodded once more. Close up, she looked much worse indeed, with those sunken cheeks and skinny figure. Her clothes were rather clean, and her hair was wet - apparently after morning washing - but her eyes in deep sockets appeared to look at another dimension and see something else.

She fared much worse that he might have expected, though he hadn't. Now he started to comprehend how much that woman had lost touch with the reality. Her lips moved again, yet she was still silent. Hiruzen felt a deep feeling of objection.

Suddenly, he no longer knew why he'd come here. He budged, about to get up... and that moment Naruto moved, making a faint cry. Kazue's eyes, so far straying in some other place, focused on the boy as if she'd just noticed him. She frowned, staring at the waving hands, and her gaze grew sharper. She stretched her thin arms as though she wanted to take him. Hiruzen hesitated at first, but then he brushed aside the doubts and carefully passed the infant to her. She put the boy on her lap and started to rock him; after a while, Naruto calmed down, which Hiruzen accepted with relief. Kazue looked at him again, as if she merely wished to continue their conversation, even though she hadn't uttered a single word. Apparently, she didn't see any problem in it.

He suppressed a sigh: of anxiety, of concern, of uncertainty. Sighing wouldn't do; he had to focus on the positive things, and it seemed that Kazue was present here and now again. "I would like you to..." he started and hesitated; once he said it, there would be no return. He began once more, in a different way, "Kazue-san, it seems to me you're not doing well."

She froze. Naruto waved his tiny hands, as if to protest, so, almost automatically, she resumed rocking him, getting a content gurgle in response. She was still regarding Hiruzen in a pretty hostile way.

No, it was not a right way. Summoning his earlier decision, he mustered his courage and said, "I wanted you to take care of Naruto." Her eyes shot to the boy's face as if she made sure it was him in question. Well, that was _some_ reaction; something connected them now, and they could build the conversation on it. "But I didn't expect that things are so bad here, Kazue. Does anyone ever help you?" She looked at him blankly, uninterested in the topic, then her eyes returned to the infant on her lap. "I suppose you won't manage..." he paused as if hesitating. What he said was unceremonious, but he wanted to provoke her into answering. He realized he wanted her to persuade him that she was going to manage perfectly well. He wanted to _hear_ it from her.

He quickly understood that his hopes were futile: Kazue wouldn't reply. Either that she didn't want or couldn't, maybe she had forgotten how to do it, or she didn't find it necessary. Her fingers tightened on the fabric Naruto was wrapped in; she moved the small bundle closer to her chest. When the silence prolonged, she turned to Naruto again and appeared to have forgotten about anything else. The boy started to coo, and then Kazue bent down, drawing her face closer to his, and responded in a similar way.

Hiruzen felt two emotions fighting inside him: the satisfaction that the woman behaved in a right way around the child, and the anxiety due to general situation. He had to admit that the shock he'd experienced upon seeing Kazue, grew stronger every minute. He attempted to drive away the negative impressions, though. Coming here, he had counted on the woman's maternal instincts, and he'd been right, for Kazue took care about the infant like she should, and Naruto welcomed it contentedly. That was the most important thing here.

"Naruto lost his parents during the attack of the Nine-Tails. You must remember, last month."

She looked at him, frowning, as if she saw him for the first time in her life. She seemed not to comprehend Hiruzen's words at all. She didn't stop rocking. Naruto was peeping in her embrace, sometimes being replied.

"I'd like you to take care of him _for now_," he resolved to speak straight, not beating around the bush. "Should you need any help, I can send someone here."

Her head snapped as she glared at him. Well, after that he was perfectly sure she heard and understood what was being said to her. Her face was indignant; apparently, she didn't need any help. But he decided to have his man come here, nonetheless.

"Of course, you will get a financial aid. I'll visit the bank and take care of it... I'll leave you some money right away," he added, taking out a small bag and putting it on the wooden panel.

Now there was some hesitation in her gaze. If it was anyone else in question, Hiruzen would thought, 'as if she wanted to say something.' Then she nodded slightly and turned her full attention to the boy again.

Hiruzen wondered whether and what he should tell her about the Demon, but then he decided there was no such need. First, she might not understand it. Second, there was no point in disturbing her; he was sure the danger had been averted and there was no longer any threat; one could count on Minato's sealing techniques... If he found it appropriate or if such need arose, which he doubted, he could always fill her in later.

"If you had any request, please tell me. You know where to find me..." he felt foolish saying it, especially that Kazue seemed to have forgotten altogether who a Hokage was.

Hearing his voice, the woman raised her eyes again, and this time there was an annoyance reflected in her face. She seemed to be saying, 'Are you still here? Go away. Leave. Stop bothering me.' Hiruzen suppressed another sigh; obviously, Kazue was tired of him. This, however, put him on the spot; today, he merely intended to introduce Naruto to her and organize the boy's move later. Now, regarding the two of them together, he realized it was impossible to take the boy from the woman. He'd rather not to imagine her reaction.

The sun was slowly moving over the sky; the noon drew near. The cat jumped into the nettles, startling a couple of sparrows. Naruto was gurgling peacefully, and Kazue was responding in a similar manner. Hiruzen felt he was completely needless here. He had no choice; leaving the boy was the only option. As soon as possible, he would send an ANBU with blankets and clothes, and an order of observation.

He got up, his heart quite heavy. Suddenly he thought he was not ready to part with the boy, even if he was simply moving him to another place. 'Naruto is still going to live in Konohagakure,'he reproached himself. 'You'll be able to visit him as much as you want.' He would come as soon as tomorrow.

Kazue didn't pay attention to him, as if his presence had already vanished from her consciousness. She kept rocking the boy gently. Her hair was dry, taking shape of a halo around her head. It was steel-grey, he noticed distractedly. She resembled a bird, a bit.

He turned and left, clasping his hands behind him. By the gate, he looked back, but the view remained unchanged: the woman was still sitting on the veranda with the child in her arms, a scene that would be beautiful in different circumstances. He tried not to give in to the feeling of regret and anxiety. He had _found_ Naruto a home.

* * *

The boy is waving his hands. Aguh-gah-gah-khah.

Where did he come from?

It's nice to sit on the veranda. Sunny day. Warm.

He's going to be hungry soon.

Glee-glee-glee.

I must take care of him. Must take care of the boy.

Has someone brought him? Someone was here. I think so. I have such an impression.

Bweh-bweh-rrrr.

No, who could have brought him? The boy was here.

Naruto.

His name is _Naruto_. Hmm...

Such a fair hair on the top of his head.

Ge-ge.

Fair hair. Soft lock. And round blue eyes.

Naruto.

My child.

My child?

Thlee-thlee-khlee.

Eiji, Kenji and Arata have dark eyes and dark hair.

None of them is Naruto.

But... Naruto.

He's here. Where else should he be?

Aguh.

I'll ask once the boys come back.

He has so tiny hands. He grasped my finger!

Let's sit like this here when the day is so warm.

Ah, there's Eiji. He's left his brothers behind, again, and returned home first. What are you standing there for? Dinner? There's still time until dinner.

You're hungry? You'll have to wait a bit, now I have to take care of Naruto. Right, the little children need more care than the older ones. As a first-born son you should know it, don't you?

You may chop wood with Kenji and Arata. Father won't be back until the evening.

Who's Naruto? He is... Naruto.

My Naruto.

Don't make such noise, you're going to startle him.

No, it's not a problem. I have to tend to him.

He is wet. He suddenly began crying.

Eiji?

He's gone already.

* * *

Hiruzen woke up from a sudden terror. In the dark hour after midnight, he was struck by the realization he'd given the son of Minato and Kushina to a mentally unstable person. To a complete lunatic. True, according to the ANBU sent to Kazue's house everything was all right - and once he remembered it, he somehow calmed down his concern - yet he decided he would visit them first thing in the morning. Nevertheless, when he managed to once more fall asleep, he was tormented by restless dreams until the very daybreak.

* * *

Something has waked me, even though the dawn is still far. The sky is dark.

Someone's crying.

A child. A baby.

The boys are already big. Who's crying, then?

_Naruto._

Who is Naruto? The cradle is rocking and creaking. The tiny hand are waving in the air.

Milk is prepared. Milk for Naruto.

Now, how. Drink. It's all right.

I'll lull you. It's still night, so sleep. We're going to sleep 'till the morning. Hush, we can't wake up the others.

Where did you come from, Naruto? Or maybe you've always been here? I remember you weren't. And I remember you were.

What are you doing here?

Ah, I'll ask the boys tomorrow. They will surely know.

* * *

At first, Hiruzen didn't understand why the household seemed different than yesterday. The nettles were swaying in the wind, the cat was trying to catch a bumblebee, and the cherry tree was leaning over the fence, just like the previous day. Yet, something had changed: the house itself had the air of life to it. It was only then that he realized that the smoke was coming from the chimney, and there was a fresh woodpile by the wall. Right, the ANBU had been ordered to take care of it, too...

He didn't have much time to contemplate that change, for that moment, just like the day before, Kazue came out onto the veranda. He raised one hand to welcome her, but the woman merely cast a fleeting look at him - actually, she seemed to look _through_ him - then lost her interest and instead focused on lugging of the cradle out. She placed it in the spot that obviously satisfied her and disappeared inside the house. Soon, she emerged again, this time with Naruto in her arms. The boy was babbling in his way when she put him down in the bed and covered. He fell asleep very quickly.

Hiruzen slowly breathed out.

Kazue returned to the house, leaving the door open. He could see her washing the dishes. Apparently, she had just fed the boy and was now preparing the meal for herself. The ANBU had provided her with the most foodstuffs, among others milk and rice for many days. For the two of them though, of course, the boy got only milk.

Hiruzen stood for a while by the gate and then left, his heart much lighter than upon coming. The sky was blue, the sun of the late autumn was ascending in the east, driving away the chill of the morning. During such a day, it was easy to believe everything would be all right.

* * *

I don't want this child.

I don't want to lose him.

I don't want him.

They brought him here and left, never asking my opinion. It's not my child.

I don't want.

I always lose them. My boys.

It hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts.

I'll stay by his side, I'll take care of him - and then he's going to vanish, like all of them.

Take him away.

All that's left is suffering. Always.

No. No and no.

He's crying, so what? He's hungry, so what? He has no parents, so what?

I don't care.

Do you hear me? I don't want you. If I become attached to you, I'm going to lose you.

It's always been so.

Take him away. Let somebody come for him already.

Let him stop screaming!

My head is hurting. I don't want to think about it. Why is it so confusing? I can't concentrate. Naruto is screaming... and I don't want him...

I don't want? Of course, I don't want to lose him. Like I always lose them... Always...

Always? Them? Whom? Whom do I lose? Whom have I lost?

I can't remember. I can't remember at all... My head is spinning. It's better not to remember.

Naruto is crying. Now, now. Don't scream. Swing, swing. There's no reason to cry. It's all right.

Such small head. Such soft hair. Such smooth skin. Now, don't cry. Swing, swing... Hush, hush... I'll sing you a lullaby. Sleep, sleep, it's all right now.

I'm here. I'm with you.

It's better like this.

* * *

His visit in Kazue's place reassured Hiruzen quite a bit, but his concern for Naruto was still there. He knew it would take some time before he became completely convinced everything was really just fine. Although he wanted to be an optimist, he couldn't forget that the woman's mental condition was far from the best. Sometimes he would regret his decision, only to remind himself he hadn't found a better candidate for the boy's carer - mostly because there was no other, in the first place - and, besides, his instinct rarely was wrong. He was entirely sure that no harm awaited Naruto at Kazue's hands.

Still, he wondered whether he had acted fair towards the woman herself, and it made him feel guilty. Maybe he should have respected her wish to be alone? Instead, he had suddenly entered her life and troubled her with caring for an infant. It was true that Kazue had reached to the boy herself, but it was one thing to be curious, maybe momentarily, about a child, and the other was to bringing them up. The more he thought about it, the more aware he became that he might have added to her burden. With his own eyes he'd seen she was tired, maybe even ill. True, she'd brought up three children - Hiruzen could still remember her urchins - but now the situation was different...

However, every time he reached such conclusions and tried to make a decision about taking Naruto back, he felt a strong objection inside. More than anything was he sure that Kazue would not return the boy, and it was futile to discuss with that certainty. Thus, he continued in a dilemma, letting the situation to develop.

He ordered the ANBU to offer Kazue any help she could accept.

* * *

Start the fire. Draw the water. Cook the rice. Wake the others. Eat the breakfast. Wash the dishes.

No, back.

Look in on the child. Then fire, water, rice. Earlier milk.

He's asleep.

The full bucket is so heavy, it's even harder to pull it up from the well. I have to rest, catch my breath. Now, it's enough. I'll wash my face and go back.

Cook the rice. Prepare the breakfast. Wake up the boys.

A child is crying. A child? Ah, Naruto.

I forgot about the milk.

I've only two hands and one myself. If I don't rock him, he's going to cry. If I pick him up, I won't be able to prepare the milk. If I don't prepare the milk, he's going to keep crying.

What do to?

The cradle to the kitchen. Pick him up, rock a while, and once he calms a bit, put down and change. And warm the milk quickly.

Just a moment, and it's ready. He's drinking, he was hungry, of course.

And now he sleeps again.

Eat the breakfast. Wash the dishes. Sweep the floor.

I forgot about the boys.

They're not there. They must've left with father before dawn. They'll be back by the dinner.

Prepare the dinner.

I'll make the laundry, it's going to dry quickly in the sunlight.

Cry. Who's crying? In my house? There's been no crying here for a longer while.

Naruto.

He's wet again. The water is fine, I'll bathe you. Now better, isn't it?

I'll stay here so that I won't forget about you. Once the boys return, they'll play with you, too.

* * *

Hiruzen ordered the ANBU to be as discreet as only a shinobi could. On one hand he wanted to help Kazue, on the other hand he didn't wish to disturb her with a presence of a stranger, no matter how friendly. The woman hadn't been associating with people for many years; he supposed that Naruto's being there had already turned her world upside down, even though he'd rather think that it was the opposite: the boy had brought order into her life. The more reasons to leave her alone.

The ANBU, two of them, reported to him daily. According to them, even if Kazue was quite a peculiar carer, she could nurse Naruto well. Although she often seemed distracted, she could act sensibly and decidedly whenever handling the child that had so unexpectedly appeared in her house. Naruto was dressed in accordance to the conditions, and his milk always has a right temperature. When he cried, Kazue would take him into her arms. When he couldn't sleep, she would rock him. When he was in due mood, she would provide various stimuli with her own gestures as well as the toys, either made by herself or delivered. When he waked up at night, she would get up and tend to him until he fell asleep again. When something ailed him, she would heal the cause.

It was with relief that Hiruzen listened to those reports, brought to him always in the evening. In a short time, it became to him not only a duty but, above all, a pleasure he looked forward to. He could no longer imagine a day without a single thought about Minato's and Kushina's son.

* * *

Are you sleeping, Naruto?

Good, children need to sleep a lot.

Some man has been hanging about here for a few days, but he's so quiet you probably didn't notice. I swear he looked inside by the window last night. People really have no shame these days. But he's brought some food, and chopped woods, too. I thought father would take care of it, but he still hasn't returned. I suppose the night caught him in the forest. Eiji, Kenji and Arata have run off somewhere again, but they'll be back for dinner.

What do they do? Father works, and the boys have found some job, too. They are big already. And you, what will you do once you grow up?

Ah, you're awake? Now, now. Thlee-thlee.

Yes, a bottle. Now, drink. Good?

Sleep more. I'm going to prepare the dinner.

Eiji? Eiji, is that you? No, Eiji's not so tall. Kenji? Can you hear me, there by the gate?

No, it's not Kenji either. It's that stranger.

I think Kenji won't come today. He said his present job is going to take some days.

I'll cook a fish soup.

* * *

Hiruzen frequented at Kazue's place whenever he could - which, with his duties, turned out to be miserably rare. It seemed, however, that everything was all right. Kazue would kept silent and only sometimes babble with Naruto in her peculiar language, and he would answer in a similar manner. Smoke used to come out of the chimney, the yard had been cleaned (the ANBU's job, no doubt), and the laundry would get dry in the back. Life had returned to the house on the skirt of the village.

* * *

The winter is drawing near, so father has a lot to do in the woods, and the boys are helping him. They come home only to sleep, and they leave before the dawn. Kenji chopped the woods. He's brawny like his father. Or, was it really Kenji? I don't remember.

Ah, the snow! It came early this year. You're waving your hands... You're about to learn how cold it is.

Yesterday I saw the first fox. They use to come out of the forest when it becomes cold. More of them would appear soon. Look, all it took was to think of them... This time the two of them already. Wait here, I'll bring you some food.

Food for foxes, food for foxes... Why is Naruto laughing?

I can't believe my eyes. You've found yourselves a good spot by his side, haven't you? One could think he's your child. And he's only happy for it! I bet they are warm, Naruto?

What are you saying? That the fur tickles?

* * *

The time moved quickly; the winter passed mild. The wounds Konoha had received in the attack last autumn, started to heal. The structures of the Leaf Village were strong enough so that people could resume their regular rhythm. Even though many had suffered losses beyond compensation, the right thing to do was to join the effort to support the living. The new building would rise in the place of the destroyed ones. The families would unite to fill the empty space left by those who'd passed away. Hiruzen knew that desire for normality is a force that no-one could ever destroy.

During his next visit, Naruto seemed to him a sun, brighter and warmer than the one on the spring skies. He gurgled, babbled, peeped and purred. And smiled at everyone around him. His fair hair stuck up around his head, and his eyes beamed with content. Hiruzen realized that the son of Minato and Kushina didn't miss anything, and that thought warmed him.

* * *

Don't cry, hush.

You've just eaten, your nappy is dry, so you're in pain. Now, now.

He's in pain. A colic, maybe?

A fever? No, no fever.

Swing, swing, I'll rock you. Lull, lull... It must stop. It must.

Hang on, I know how... I used to do so long ago. It's going to stop any moment.

Now, better? It stopped. All right, let's sit a bit like that. I know you like when I rock you. Now, I waited for that smile.

The man by the gate is looking here. Really, can't we have some peace in our home? If father were here, he would drive him off. Ah, but I see Kenji. Kenji! Chase away that man by the fence.

What, 'There's no such need'? Since when should we let people spy on us? 'He's doing nothing wrong'? Well, that's true, he isn't - but I'd rather not be watched on my own yard. First he feels at home here, and then he's going to pick the cherries, I tell you.

You're laughing at me? You're terrible, Kenji.

Ah, it's Naruto laughing.

Right, there's no-one else here.

Except for the man by the gate, but I'm not going to bother myself with him. As long as he doesn't disturb us, that is.

* * *

The ANBU kept reporting that everything was just fine in the house by the forest. Sometimes Hiruzen would learn that Naruto wasn't well but recover quickly. Children were generally healthy, or so it seemed to him. The boy was developing properly, and nothing indicated any problems with him.

Once the cherry blossom was over, Hiruzen visited Kazue's house again. Naruto was already sitting and presenting the whole world his first teeth. He wouldn't stop smiling, and his blue eyes were brighter than the spring sky.

The little girl of the Haruno, whom Hiruzen met on his way, was already* running and regarding the surroundings with her gooseberry eyes. In a flash of a foreknowledge, Hiruzen thought that Sakura would grow up to be a beautiful and clever woman.

* * *

And so we've fallen ill, during such a heat. The boys must have brought home some disease. I can barely stand straight.

It's a good thing I cooked yesterday. All it takes is to warm it up. You're going to have an apple, I'll peel it for you. Don't be picky, children must eat when ill. Now, slowly, one spoonful at once. For the First Hokage, for the Second, for...

Wait a moment, I'll look in on them in case they need something.

I'm back. Come, let's lie a bit on the veranda. We'll recover sooner when we stay in the sunlight. And if we cuddle up to each other, you should quickly feel better. You always do, I wonder why.

Sleeping already? All you need is to be picked up...

Ah, I think I'll get better quickly, too.

* * *

The wonderful spring was followed by a splendid summer. Upon Hiruzen's next visit in Kazue's place, the long ears of rice were swaying on the fields of Konoha. The cat had turned out to be a girl and was now licking her kitties in the shadow of the shed. The rails in the fence had been filled in, and there was a new paling on the back, enclosing the yard from all sides.

Naruto was crawling and sometimes tried to stand up. He would smile at anyone and uttered the sound of sheer joy; when picked up and tossed into the air, he seemed a happiness incarnated.

Little Sasuke of the Uchiha was walking with Mikoto's hand in his own, unsteady on his feet. Family traditions considered - as well as the best example of his big brother - Hiruzen had no doubt that the boy would grow up to be an excellent shinobi.

* * *

Naruto, what should I make for a dinner today?

It's worth seeing you gorge yourself with apples and carrots. Now I'm happy to have raked that bed in the back and seeded some vegetables last spring, even though it'd been years since when I'd used to do it. Well, following that thought, maybe I should thank father for having planted those three apple trees, one for every son...

Do you think, Naruto, we should get one more sapling? Now that I look at it... Three is called perfect, but four is somewhat more... dignified. Though when you think of the Hokage, the impression is quite opposite, isn't it? I haven't seen the Fourth for a longer while. Actually, isn't it the Third that has been frequenting here? He seemed quite familiar... but was it really him?

How about soup? I have some meat, you should finally try it. Turkey meat, I'm sure you'll like it.

I'll cook some, we will have enough for two days.

For us, of course.

There's no-one else here... Though I think I washed the dishes after six people in the morning. My memory is getting bad.

* * *

When the leaves started to turn yellow, Hiruzen realized it'd been a year already since the attack of the Nine-Tails. It also meant that Naruto's first year of life was nearing the end. 'Something ends, Something begins' - only now he realized how true that sentence was. He might have told it himself already twelve months ago, but would he believed it then? Konoha had revived like a mythical phoenix, and only graves with quite new inscriptions - so many new graves - told about the crisis from the previous autumn. Looking at Naruto, one couldn't resist the thought that good had won after all.

He was sure he'd mentioned to Kazue Naruto's birthday at some point, but it was quite another thing whether the woman's unsound mind could process that information. He decided it was a good excuse to pay the two another visit in the beginning of October. Kazue glared at him as soon as he suggested she might have forgotten about Naruto's special day. Not that it distressed him when he was enjoying the spectacle of the boy practising walking by the veranda or the fence. That activity was accompanied by merry gurgle as well as conversation with the cats in the boy's own language. Hiruzen was sure that the next time Naruto would already chase the kittens - or they would chase him. It seemed natural that Minato's and Kushina's son would grow up to be someone not easily caught up with...

To tell the truth, he didn't feel any need to wonder about the boy's future. Maybe he didn't want to _worry_ about it, and thus he simply preferred to relish the present. He knew he would have to worry about yet innumerable things in his life, so it was worth finding possibly many pleasant moments, too. Letting Naruto play with the Hokage hat in his lap was undoubtedly one of those pleasures.

* * *

Happy Birthday, Naruto!

How could they think I might forget about your birthday? It still makes me angry.

No, you shouldn't grab a candle, you should blow it. Now, let's blow... Fffff...

So that you grow up healthy and strong.

Now that was a blow, it's been very windy today. Wait a moment, I'm going to close the window.

That man who keeps looking in on us, helped me to repair the roof; it started to leak after the previous rainstorm. I wouldn't have managed to do it alone.

We've been alone for a longer while... right?

Before, someone else was here, too... But they left. Yes, they must have left. I can't remember. But we stay together.

It's a good thing I collected the laundry. I thinks the storm is coming. Last year we had terrible storms in the autumn. Many trees were uprooted, many houses destroyed. Here, by the forest, it was rather quiet, so don't worry; you're safe here.

* * *

Hiruzen couldn't resist the temptation to visit Naruto, if only very short. In seemed nearly impossible during that day, filled with memorial services in honour of the Nine-Tails' victims, to find a single moment of freedom, yet he somehow managed to slip out in the evening. That day was a memory of the tragedy, and so the general mood was far from happy - maybe it was the reason why he felt the need to counterbalance that depressing atmosphere, not to give in to it... Naruto's birthday was like a light in the darkness, it brought joy and advocated optimism, in spite of sorrow and grief. Though, to tell the truth, he was no longer sure whether the villagers' pained expressions were worse than completely blank faces of Homura and Koharu.

He stayed but an instant at Kazue's place, yet he was treated rice dumplings and a cake to, an unprecedented event. He enjoyed that modest meal more than the dinner he'd attended to, along with other celebrities, at the end of the memorial. That visit was very short, but as he left, he realized it didn't really differed from any other he could pay in the village; he was sure he would have been received the same way in any other house. Now that he was sitting in his office, drinking tea and staring at the storm outside (he'd managed to return before the first drops fell), he could still feel the warmth evoked by the boy and the woman taking care of him.

It was really beautiful, and above all surprising. What was between Kazue and Naruto resembled the most ordinary relationship between a mother and her child. Kazue didn't fuss over the boy, yet she was always there whenever he needed her, always within his reach, always vigilant. Although she didn't speak, Hiruzen was sure she communicated with Naruto in any other way. And he responded. The mutual contact obviously pleased them both, even if in Kazue's case an inexperienced observer would have a problem seeing it. Her expression changed rarely, and thus her mood could be read only from such a slight signs like a twitch in the corner of her lips, a flicker in her eyes, or squaring her shoulders.

It was beyond doubt that the woman was _attuned_ to Naruto: sensing his moods, needs and wishes - and reacting to them. Just as the boy was constantly aware of her presence... No, of her _importance_. When she moved, he followed her with his gaze. When she left the room, he searched for her. When she entered, he welcomed her with a smile. When she picked him up and put on her lap, his smile intensified and was reflected in her eyes, too.

Kazue had turned out to be the best mother the boy could have after his own one died. Now Hiruzen only wondered about the concern he'd felt a year ago. It was clear those two would manage fine.

* * *

My boys need me!

It's dark. The night. I was sleeping, but now I'm awake. My heart is pounding violently, my chest aches. I nearly suffocate, have trouble breathing. I must go! Help them!

Eiji, Kenji, Arata, where are you?

It's a dark night, silent. The sky is clouded, no stars to see. There's no sound coming from the village. It must be past midnight. It's cool, but there's no time to get dressed. I'll feel warm soon.

Those screams again! Where are you?

The grass is damp, it was raining. It doesn't matter, I don't need shoes. The line of the trees is even darker against the sky, and below it... Is something moving there? Or there? Maybe there? In the thicket? By those great oaks? Near the pond?

My heart won't calm down. I hear their voices.

_'Mom, where are you?'_

Where are you? Where are you? In the grove? On the rocks?

_'Mom, come to us!'_

My boys are waiting for me. In the dark woods, they call their mother. Wounded, in pain, alone.

_'Mom, why aren't you coming?'_

I shudder. My hands are trembling. Everything is shaking. I can't catch my breath.

Where are you?

_'Mom, why did you forget about us?'_

I feel cold, right to the core, and my heart freezes. I never forgot about you! How could I? I have only you. Only...

Crying. A baby is crying.

Eiji? Kenji? Arata?

No, my boys are big, their voices are deep, they no longer cry... Who then? Who is it? Crying comes from behind... from the house... So quiet, so weak, yet it drowns out everything else.

From the house. Where am I?

What am I doing here? Alone, in the dead of night, on the damp grass behind the house. I was running somewhere, I was heading somewhere, someone called me. Someone needed my help, and I wanted to help. I used to help people, long ago, and now I wanted to help, too, hearing that screaming. But the night is quiet. There's only hooting of an owl coming from the forest, and the sound of drops falling. It's quiet. Not even an echo of screaming can be heard.

Everything is so confusing. I don't know what I should believe. Something strange is happening to my head, it's been not all right for a longer while. Events, people, faces, voices... They appear and vanish as if they've never been there. Maybe they never were. Or maybe they were. It's so hard to believe and so hard to not believe.

But the crying won't stop. It's Naruto.

I want to think clearly again! Something pulls me towards the woods, but towards the house too. What to do? What to choose? Where to go to avoid a mistake? Where to go to choose right? Where is peace, happiness, relief? Where do I want to be? I'd like to shook my head so that the right thoughts come in, so that it's easy again to make decisions, without that all futile thinking.

What to do?

You stupid woman, there's nothing in the forest. Do you hear? If anyone called you, it was only ghosts leading people astray. The forest stands still, vigilant with the night animals, breathing with the rain. Just like always. There's nothing else there. Nothing beside what should be there. Calm down. Come to your senses. There's nothing there.

And Naruto needs me.

Don't cry, little one. I'm here. Hush. You got scared. A noise waked you? You're hungry? Maybe you're sick? Maybe you are cold because I was thoughtless to left the door open while the night is cold and humid. Or maybe you had a bad dream, a nightmare...?

A nightmare...

Nightmares come in the autumn. Every year, always the same time. I don't want to think about it, but now that I started, I can no longer stop. The images appear in my head again, I can't drive them away. My boys... Far from home. On the battlefield, wounded, calling for help. Growing weaker with every passing minute, losing their hope, losing their chance... And I always run to them, to get there in time, to save them, for I can save them, right? I have to believe it, and thus I always run to them. What mother would leave her children alone? What mother would give her sons to the death without as much as lifting a finger? Just accepting the fate? Without trying to do anything for them? Without trying to be with them? None. Thus I can never stop myself from running through the woods, over the fields, for many days, trying to find them and always failing. Later, I return home, bruised, hungry, exhausted and disappointed... and then I forget. I forget because it's better not to remember... only until the next time. How many times has it happened so far?

But now there's no war. The Leaf Village has been at peace for many years. No-one needs to fear. No-one needs to die, not like that. There's no war now. No battlefields with people - sometimes still children - begging for help, for life. It's better like this, and thus the nights are calm and quiet. Safe. An only Naruto needs me, here and now.

Don't cry, I'll wipe up your tears. It's all right. No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, and I'll stay here. Where should I go? You hold me so tight that I couldn't go even if I wanted to. And I hold you too, so that I don't need to go anywhere. Something is still trying to break away inside me and urge me to run in the night, but this touch and this warmth are stronger. They calm me down. They soothe the pain in my chest. They uncloud my head.

Then, there's really no reason to cry.

With you, Naruto, I can be here. Let's stay like this, you and me. In this house that may be too big for just the two of us, but we still manage to live in it. It's our home, only ours - and it's all right, too. Not that it wouldn't be all right, not with the two of us here. Thank you, Naruto, for making me _be_ here. For making me live here - me, an old woman whose life once ended.

Let us sleep. There's nothing to fear. The storm is over, it's going to be a fine day tomorrow. We'll get up in the morning and eat breakfast, like always. I have to finally clean _that_ room, I didn't enter it for a long, long time. I'm going to ask to dinner that man who's been looking after us for a whole year; I bet it must be pretty boring to sit day by day on the tree. Also, I must go to the market, start storing food for the winter; we can't stay at the mercy of the Hokage all the time. Yes, it's high time to go to the city. Of course I'm going to take you with me. I won't leave you alone, I won't leave my child. You're going with me, will see more than just this house and the yard. You'll see that the world is bigger and doesn't end with the fence.

And then... maybe the day after tomorrow... or the next week... I'll visit the graves of my boys. I'll tell them that this house is still... That there's _again_ life under this roof. I'll tell them that their old mother... manages _again_ and they don't need to worry about me. Because I have you. Thanks to you, Naruto, I can look ahead and see the world again.

Thank you. Thank you...

* * *

* I don't really know whether Sakura is older or younger than Naruto and Sasuke. She was born in March, so according to the Western system she would be the oldest of the three, and this is how I see it here. However, in Japan, children born from April to March of the next year go to the same class, so it may be that Sakura is, in fact, the youngest.


	3. Chapter 3

**3\. Naruto**

* * *

The years passed one by one; the seasons continued to change in the cycle of death and rebirth. The Leaf Village remained at peace, which contributed to its prosperity. There were always problems to face, as well as various concerns of the Hokage, yet Hiruzen was still of the opinion that with optimism, faith and hope one could overcome any difficulty. Children running on the streets of Konoha, both those who still played freely and those who studied in the Academy already, gave strength to await the future with courage and light heart. Children could change the adults, and always for better.

Naruto never stopped smiling, even if he didn't spoke - maybe in his own language, understood only by his carer and himself. Observing the boy, who used to run in the vicinity of Kazue's house with a laud laughter, Hiruzen often thought jokingly that hardly anyone could bear it if prattling joined that energy of his. Lack of words, that didn't really worry Hiruzen - the boy would undoubtedly learn how to talk as he spent more time with other children - was his only flaw; apart from that, Naruto was developing well, was strong and healthy and had everything he needed. The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox sealed within him, showed no sign of his existence, and in different circumstances Hiruzen would be able to very easily convince himself that those two had nothing to do with one another. Yet, he knew the truth... and these days he accepted it with some satisfaction.

Had the Demon been not sealed in this particular boy, he would have fallen into the wrong hands. It was beyond doubt that the man whose name still remained a matter of Hokage's conjecture wouldn't hesitate to use him the way that would bring another tragedy and this time might cause the complete destruction of Konoha. The Demon was, however, locked up in Naruto, who, in safe conditions, was growing up to be a very cheerful person and thus strong enough to oppose the monster if they would ever clash. In many ways, Naruto was the guarantee for the safety and welfare of Konohagakure (which was the job of a Jinchūriki anyway, but he'd rather not think from that point of view, for it carried some terribly inhuman meaning of compulsory fulfilling someone else's will), and Hiruzen had troubles imagining that people wouldn't respect the boy for that sooner or later. At present, nothing indicated that Naruto was an object of general dislike; it could be that people didn't even know that the orphan whom Kazue fostered in her house by the forest is the same child that had once thrown the village into state of confusion. Now, it wouldn't even occur to Hiruzen to announce it, even if he thought the boy should be treated like a hero; sometimes, his inner idealist had to yield to his inner realist.

All in all, Hiruzen congratulated himself on his decision from four years ago, yet he knew it was no longer only about the boy. That day, when he'd brought a small bundle to Kazue, he'd been guided - at least consciously - by Naruto's welfare. Now he could, once more, marvel at the miracle that had happened. Good used to bring about ever more good; he would witness it at every step, as he did in this situation. The change that had happened in Kazue was so slow he hadn't realized it until he'd visited the two after a longer while and noticed the difference. When he'd compared the image of the woman with the one from before, he'd been extremely surprised. These days, Kazue seemed much better; in the first place, she no longer looked like an old woman. She appeared stronger and healthier, she walked with her back upright, and her movements were firm. Clothes sat well on her, and her hair was neatly tied. Her gaze was focused, and there was no doubt that she was always _here and now_. She still kept silent, yet she nodded to the women she passed in the streets. She went out much more often, now, even though she still didn't maintain contact as such with others. She visited the market at least twice a week, and she sold the vegetables from her garden again, which helped her to become quite independent of the Hokage's aid. Sometimes, she even smiled, although it was quite a brief smile that would stretch her lips for a moment and disappeared right away. Had any stranger seen her in the centre of the village - or even here, at home - he would have never thought that this woman is different from any other.

Hiruzen could not drive away the reflection that normally would seem strange to him: the reflection that Kazue was alive again.

* * *

You've been running with kids the whole day again, Naruto. Good, you're going to become a strong boy. Boys should run a lot and be strong. But remember to always come back before dark. After sunset wild animals sometimes go out of the woods, and it's easy to hurt yourself when you can't see the way. Believe me, to bump into something in darkness is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a person.

But what is that face? Ah, a bruised knee. Well, true, one can hurt yourself in _broad daylight_ too, and you are particularly good at that... Come here, that's no tragedy. Is it but the first time? We'll take care of it. We take off your pants, I'll darn them later. Sit down, let's cleanse it... I know it stings, but try to bear with it. We put a plaster, now. You see, it's done. I can't even tell how many times I tended to my boys' bruised knees, so it's all right. It should be like that.

Ah, now you're laughing, little rascal. I know that smile of yours, you're hiding something from me. Whenever you look at me like that, half secretly, half merrily, I know that's the case. Naruto, Naruto, it's always written all over you're face when you're happy. You only wait that I ask you, staring at me with those blue eyes. Ha, sure it was in your pocket, I could see it right away. All right, show me. I can tell you're very eager to.

My, my, a persimmon. And another one. So hard, despite the journey in your pocket. But wait a moment, wait. The fruits have only started to ripen. It's impossible that they fall already... So how...? You won't tell me you've climbed the tree to pick them? Really? You naughty boy, what can I do about you? Now I'm happy it ended only with a bruised knee... Yes, I'm very happy, though I feel like pulling your ears so that you'll never do it again. Well, at least until you're a bit older. I've no doubt that soon you're going to run the trees like a real shinobi.

For me? Do you think you'll manage to appease me with a persimmon, you wretch? Ah, I forgot that angry looks won't work with you. Laugh, laugh, it's the best remedy. Hmmm, maybe I should follow that advice myself... We're going to put them by the fire, so that they get softer, and eat them together. Tomorrow or the day after that they should be good. But now it's time to sleep, I can tell you're tired, your eyes are closing. I bet you've had your fill of running today... Never speaking of climbing the trees. Only drink some milk before that, going to bed with a completely empty stomach wouldn't do. Yes, you were thirsty. Drink down.

What, you want that I pick you up? Such a big boy? You're impossible... All right, but only this once, I'm too good for you... No, I take it back. No-one can be too good for you. Ugh, you've become heavy, Naruto. I'm too old for such exercise, I've carried enough children in my life, do you know? My back and chest are aching, and I get tired quickly. Like they say, age is a heavy burden. Though I haven't been feeling that old recently, my body reminds me of my age. I should take better care of myself.

It was the last time. You see, I can barely catch my breath. But don't worry about it, there's no such need. Everything is all right. Now, I'll cover you, the nights are getting cold already. Not too much, only to you belly. Sweet dreams. I'm going to sit here and rest a bit, and then I'll mend your clothes, for you'll be willing to play tomorrow too, right from the morning. Sleep well, Naruto, so that you can welcome a new day with such joy as you did today.

* * *

There were no other guests than Hokage in the house by the forest. (Once or twice, he'd brought along a tall, white-hair man who, regardless of his cheerful demeanour hadn't gain Kazue's trust, so she'd kept Naruto close. It hadn't really helped anything, for Naruto had taken liking to the stranger at once... just like used to do with anyone.) The neighbours had long since stopped showing, and even if recently one or another woman fancied to come by, Kazue made them understand she didn't wish that nor needed. Kids used to hang around more often, yet they still would not dare to enter the yard; they usually stopped by the fence and only stared or called to Naruto. Then, it was quite unexpected when two days later, some time in the afternoon, a loud and importunate knocking at the door was to be heard.

Kazue was collecting the laundry she'd made in the morning, and she was more displeased than surprised to interrupt it; even though these days people no longer annoyed her like they'd used to, she still didn't like it that anyone disturbed her peaceful life with Naruto. She went around the house only to find, standing at the veranda - _the veranda!_ \- a girl, apparently a bit older than Naruto, who anxiously awaited to be answered. Upon seeing Kazue, she nervously started and took a step backwards. Kazue frowned.

The girl looked up at her, shifting from one foot to the other, and said nothing, although she must have come with some problem. Now, however, courage seemed to have left her, and she appeared to fight with the desire to flee, which Kazue hoped for, truthfully. So they kept standing in front of the door, an elder woman and a little girl, and only regarding one another in silence; one didn't use to talk, the other couldn't utter a word.

The girl took one more step away, and then her feet felt the edge of the veranda. Instinctively, she turned back and then looked around in a distracted manner. Finally, her gaze went back to Kazue, and she bowed, as if realizing her own impoliteness.

"I'm Miki, ma'am," she whispered with her head lowered. Then, however, she clenched her fists and came closer, raising her eyes again. "I'm sorry I came here, but... Ma'am, it's because Naruto..." she said with hesitation. "Boys made fun of him again. They always tease him... I teased him, too," she confessed, "but today... Ma'am, they put him on," she added more boldly; it could be that talking came easier to her once she'd started. "Though they know he understands everything, even if he doesn't speak, they always pretend it's the opposite. And they say he doesn't understand anything and is stupid...! And that he's useless. And that they are older and he is little, so he can't play with them. Ma'am... Today... they said that if he wanted to play with them, he needed to... needed to be put to the test. And they took him to the hills, on the rocks... You know, ma'am, where is that gorge." She turned and pointed east. "But he slipped and fell down," she said and sniffed. "And they ran away. I ran away, too," she added quietly, bowing her head and twisting her fingers. "But I know they did wrong!" she called, looking up again. "You have to help him. Please, ma'am, help him!" she begged, grabbing Kazue's skirt and trying to hold back her tears, to no avail.

However, Kazue no longer saw her; the girl's words still rang in the air when she went past her and turned in the showed direction, barely realizing her action. Her body was already moving, while her mind only started to recover. She'd covered quite a distance before she started to acknowledge what she was doing: that she was walking on the sandy road, heading for the hills, passing the houses and other people; that her heart was beating fast and her breath was heavy, yet she somehow managed. As if she'd come to, remembered what had happened - and, in a way, it wasn't pleasant. She felt dizzy, and the world suddenly got blurred again, disappeared, and she wanted to go back to that state from a moment ago, when she hadn't felt anything and thought of anything. The next minute she understood it was fear trying to paralyse her. Fear she'd once learned to know all too well: fear for the child.

Naruto.

She couldn't lose him.

That certainty - sharp and clear like the sun, needing no further reflection - helped her to gather her thoughts that had scattered all over, although it lasted a while. Yet, she gathered them - and then dismissed one by one. The first thought: to wait for her husband and then go together... to search... She thought she could hear his voice, he must have been returning home by now, singing to himself like he used to, maybe they were about to meet right at the next turn... She looked around, squinting, trying to spot him, and then _remembered_ it was all in vain. Her husband had been long since dead. One day, he'd left to the woods and never come back, crushed by a tree. He'd been a good man who'd always helped her... Now, he would help her too, she knew it - it was so easy to trust his help and so hard to accept the truth - but _he was no longer there_.

The second thought: to send her sons to search for the youngest. Eiji, the most responsible of the three. He was his mother's strength and support, she could always count on him in troubles. Or Kenji and Arata, those two rascals. They could as well be the twins, always together, full of energy and vigour. They knew the area like their own yard, they would find the boy at once. 'Don't worry, mom, we're going to bring him back soon! We'll be home even before you're finished with preparing the dinner.' Yes, they would find their little brother right away.

Little brother...?

No, Naruto wasn't their brother. To some extent he was, but not really. They hadn't known him, never got to know him. They'd parted with this world long before Naruto had been born. They'd always be near, she'd always feel their presence, sometimes speak with them, listen to their laughter... But know she knew that time in the medical tent when they'd been dying... when they _had died in her hands_... wasn't a nightmare but reality. She'd known it for a longer while... she only hadn't thought about it, for there was no such need with Naruto around.

Naruto.

Did she hear someone crying? Calling for help? Like a child was calling his mother...

She shook her head to silence all voices, and she succeeded; only thumping of blood was left to be heard. Actually, she was already running... well, at least, walking fast; she'd been long since in no condition to run. Catching her breath didn't come easy, and it twinged under her ribs. It didn't matter, though, for somewhere there Naruto was waiting for her. He'd fallen from the rock, that was what that girl had said. Naruto was strong, he would be all right, but... he shouldn't stay alone at night, and it would become dark soon. She had to find him quickly. She should have taken the lamp, but she hadn't thought of it; she hadn't thought of anything. Now there was no other option than to find him before the dark, so brooding about the mistakes wouldn't do. But she was still angry with herself for such mindlessness.

As much as her old body let her, she kept walking, still ahead, slowly, obstinately, nearing her goal: the range of the hills bathed in the sunlight, although the sun was approaching the horizon all too quickly. So far, she'd managed quite well, but the real thing was to begin from now on. The rocks, the gorge... She knew that place, more or less. Kids always loved to come here, and always someone less careful would come to harm, which only stimulated another to prove their courage. Or stupidity. Long ago, almost in another life... along with other parents... Not once nor twice, she would search for some lost brat who had fancied they'd been a master of the world - or, at least, the Hokage - and could jump the rocks like a trained shinobi. Along with others, she would seek and find, and then heal broken ankles and dislocated shoulders, even though sometimes she'd felt like leaving it to the nature and let the kid learn a lesson of life.

Yes, she knew that path and those hassocks. The terrain sloped upward and, after some half an hour of marching, would end in a low cliff. It wasn't so dangerous here as she'd imagined at first... when fear had numbed her mind and set her body in motion. She stopped by a big boulder to calm her breath, unable to drive away the bleak thought that she was really in bad shape if such a moderate strain made her so dizzy that she could see red spots before her eyes. She should have taken a better care of herself, now she was fully aware of it. That pressure in her chest was the worst... But there was no use feeling sorry for herself when Naruto was still waiting and it was getting darker. Even if the bluff wasn't that high - it was still some distance to the really dangerous rocks, and he _certainly_ couldn't have got there - it was no doubt a problem for such a little child.

After a minute she resumed walking, moving over the bigger stones. The sun no longer reached here, and only the hills above were still burning with scarlet. They would hardly see anything on their way back, and it concerned her. After having slipped a few times, she ordered herself concentration and then decided she'd better tread on the ground after all, even if, by doing so, it would take somewhat longer to get to the boy. But she really would do Naruto no service, if she broke her leg here; thinking reasonably was crucial. It was better to go slower but safer, although her heart kept urging her, and the tired body wanted to move as quickly as possible, so that she reached her destination and didn't need to rush any more. She cut her hand on the sharp edge but barely noticed it. Stinging in the skin didn't bother her that much; actually, the whole arm was quite numb, but she had no time to worry about it.

Finally, she arrived there; of course, it'd taken her longer than half an hour, for marching was beyond her abilities. For a while - much too long - she just stood there, breathing heavily and waiting that her head stopped spinning and the dark spots in her visual field disappeared. Once the feeling of losing her balance receded and she could see clearly again, she looked beyond the verge of the small cliff. The shadow was covering the ravine, yet her eyes immediately caught the small figure lying still on its bottom. Fear clenched her heart again - with different pain from the one she'd been experiencing for some time now - but she ordered herself to remain calm. Naruto was _unconscious_, he wouldn't sleep in such a position, with his arms and legs scattered. The ground was rather grassy, but here and there small rocks could be seen. Naruto must have hit his head on one of them, very nasty...

She took two deep breaths before getting down the steepness that was only a few meters high. Nonetheless, Naruto wouldn't be able to climb it even if he were conscious, especially in the dark. She'd made a right thing coming here, for that single reason; unfortunately, she knew all too well there were more. While descending, she grazed her legs in two places and hit her hip against the rock, but that was nothing because the next moment she was already beside the inert boy. She sat down by him and started the examination. He was normally warm, he breathed, and his pulse, although fast, was regular and firm. She moved one hand over his arms and legs. No fractures, no injuries at all. She didn't see any blood either, so he couldn't have got hurt seriously in any parts of his body. However, his head was swollen; just as she'd suspected, he must have hit it hard.

He needed help. Here and now. Immediately.

The realization made her dizzy again, and her mind scattered all over, running from the situation, from making decisions that were doomed to failure anyway, from pain that would inevitably come. For a moment, she felt the only thing she wanted was to sit down and rock the boy's body in her arms, and think of nothing at all, never again be forced to think. For she could never do anything, never could help those who needed her. It always ended in the same thing... In the end, she always could only hold them in her arms and rock them, so many times... She only rocked and rocked... until everything ceased existing: suffering, regret, sorrow, grief, despair... Eiji, Kenji and Arata. Maybe this time she would manage to leave as well...

She thought she could hear a scream - of protest, of rage, of begging... It was the very last memory of her sons that was screaming inside her. She opened her eyes and stared at Naruto's face in the falling darkness. Lack of smile she was so used to, sobered her, driving away all foolish thoughts, unworthy of sparing them even one moment. There was no-one else here, but _Naruto_ was, her Naruto. Her boy. Her child. She had to take care of him. There was no-one else here... He needed help, and _only she could help him._

She placed her right hand on his head and closed her eyes again, this time in full concentration, forgetting the pain that already had taken possession of most of her body. She reached inside her - to every cell, even though they objected to such a strain - and without thinking moulded chakra, just like she'd used to do so long ago, then sent it to Naruto. It was so easy, easier than breathing, more natural than anything else... and she distractedly wondered why she'd _forgotten_ about it for so many years... before ordering herself to stay focused and getting rid of such thoughts.

Everything vanished from her mind again, but this time it was controlled, deliberated and accepted. In the end, she ceased feeling even pain. The only left was sensation of pleasure and fulfilment, growing bigger and bigger as the healing tide was spreading inside the little boy, connected with her by something much greater than the flow of chakra.

* * *

She didn't know how long had passed. When she opened her eyes again - which took all her energy - it was almost completely dark. The silence filled with evening sounds, surrounded her. It was peaceful, inside her and around her. She felt safe. The boy in her arms was a part of that peaceful and safe nature. She didn't even need to examine him to know the danger was over; she simply knew it. Naruto's pulse had calmed down, the swelling of his head had diminished. Chakra was flowing inside him undisturbed. Now, he was just sleeping, breathing evenly.

She felt good; she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a feeling of such bliss. Actually, she might as well stay here, but to spend the night in the open air wasn't a good idea in case of the old woman and the little boy.

"Naruto..."

He moved slightly; his face contorted.

"Naruto..."

He opened his eyes - blue, _round like his mother's_, she remembered the words she'd heard long ago - and focused his confused gaze on her. He seemed not to recognize her... Well, it could be understood; he probably was still feeling the effects of having hit his head, regardless of the healing he'd received. But, ah, it didn't matter. Everything was all right now, that was the only important thing. She helped him sit up, then tried to stand up... which seemed the most difficult thing in the world. The bliss was, unfortunately, only spiritual; the motion reminded her of the body too, and it didn't experience such pleasures and wanted only to sit down. But she really had to go home, especially that it was going to rain, now she sense it. Besides, she knew well that the longer she 'rested', the harder it would be to begin the return trip.

"Naruto," she whispered, stoking the boy on his fair hair.

He kept staring at her blankly... and the next moment his face was brightened by a smile - that so very well-known smile. It was as if the sun appeared in the dark gorge. She smiled back, even laughed softly, unable to contain the happiness that was trying to break free from her and touch anyone who was near, just as she couldn't stop tears flowing from her eyes. She wiped them quickly; she had to see clearly. But that smile - and the joy it evoked - soothed the pain in her chest and invigorated to making the last effort.

Her body was still remonstrating as she put the boy on her back and approached the gorge wall, but she didn't intend to bother herself with it. There was no other option than getting out of here. If she wanted to return home, she had to do it on her own. She couldn't stay here. That was what she kept repeating, over and over again, trying to motivate herself. Never before had she felt so unwilling to action. Finally, she started to climb - but could it be even called climbing? Her hands were so weak it was nearly impossible to pull herself up, and her legs constantly slipped of the rock. She could only hope she _was_ moving up; that effort... that torment could not be in vain...

It was just a few meters, maybe even less... yet it seemed to her she'd been climbing for hours already, as if it were the Hokage Mountain... She wouldn't make it, she wouldn't... She felt faint, her head was thumping, hands grew weaker, legs would no longer move... There was no-one else but she, Naruto on her back, and that rock to which she clung and tried not to let go of... for, if she fell down, she wouldn't be able to climb it again. But there was also faintness, as well as feeling that she wouldn't manage to overcome this obstacle, never... that she should give up, rest... Yet she couldn't do it, for what would happen to the boy, then...? With that realization were mixed pain and desperate struggle for breath, swirling spots that obscured her vision and roar in her ears... And she was hearing voices again.

"A little more...!"

"I think it's here...?"

"Bring more light!"

"I can't see anything..."

"No, look! Look there!"

"They are here! They are here!"

"Hey! We've found them!"

"Hurry...!"

Someone's hands snatched Naruto from her back. She wanted to protest but had no strength. In the meantime, other hands grabbed her too and pulled over the edge of the cliff. She laid onto the grass, the softest bed. She was tired, very tired... Naruto was safe. Finally, she could rest... Finally, her lungs would stop begging for air, and her heart would repose... She needed nothing more. Naruto... was safe.

"Naruto..." she spoke unconsciously without knowing what she wanted to say.

Maybe she didn't after all. She could no longer see him. Everything was getting quiet, disappearing, receding - or maybe it was she receding. It was so peaceful. It was... or wasn't... nothing was there... Like in a dream.

That moment of drifting off something occurred to her - something strange, already too abstract to understand it, yet sharp: regret that _they'd never eaten the persimmons..._

* * *

He woke up in the place he didn't know, surrounded by people he didn't know. They would come and go, take care of him and talk. Sometimes, they would only stare, and later he would hear their voices from the next room. He didn't know them; he couldn't even remember if he'd _ever_ known anything. He only realized he was on his own, one single _he_ \- and there was the rest, other people who saw him and knew him but were someone _else_.

Despite their presence, he was alone. Some of their words that he could not always understood but nonetheless picked up the elevation of voices... Some of their gazes when they looked at him... Their fierce gestures, sometimes... All that made him feel like cowering, trying to be smaller, or disappearing at all. Some part of him thought he should do so. Cry, beg, and be obedient. Avoid their anger. Be afraid.

Yet, he wasn't afraid. He felt calm, safe, and secure. There was another part of him, stronger than the one advising fear.

He remembered warmth that had once surrounded him, penetrating inside him and warming him, driving away the loneliness. No, he didn't really _remember_ \- he couldn't remember anything - he simply _knew_ it. That warmth was no longer there - it had left and never come back - but, for some reason, just _knowing_ about it kept him warm and made him feel strong, filled the void inside him. Just _knowing_ was enough to make him go on and face what was to come.

Although he'd forgotten everything else, he knew he would always remember that warmth. Without it, everything appeared meaningless, incomplete, empty - and he didn't want those feelings. He wanted that warmth resulting from the other person's being there - a close and important person, not those people with hard voices, sharp eyes and menacing movements. Maybe that warmth was the very presence of such person. He had once felt it and could desire it again. He could make it his goal.

He would search for it until he found it once more and then... That time he would do anything to keep it by his side for ever. For ever.


End file.
